It's snowing out 'ere

So I woke up this morning (I say this morning it was about 15 minutes ago) brushed my teeth, had a shower, went to the fridge and there's no butter. Fuck. The dad then informs me the mum has gone to the market to do the weekly shop, I then look outside the window. HOLY S#%T! That's some serious "type of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice" falling outside. As I reconsider reaching for the cold Supermalt I put in the fridge last night (I say last night it was an hour ago) and having cereal with cold milk to start to think. First I feel bad my mum is now in Dalston carrying lots of shopping trying to get back home (She left an hour before God sneezed on his table full of cocaine and it all fell to earth  turining into harmless "type of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice" as it entered our atmosphere). Is she going to get the bus home, buses now filled to the brim with snow encrusted rowdy West Indians (you know it's true)? Or is she going to try and walk it home, she LOVES telling me about how she can walk from here (Old Street) to Archway (3.4 miles), then from Archway to Dalston (2.9 miles) and finally from Dalston here (1.6 miles) to which I would raise both my eyebrows in pseudo-admiration and half-heartedly say "Not a fan of the Oyster Card, eh?", you can take the woman out of Ghana... Second I see all this "types of prec..." oh you can just call it snow? Sweet. So I see all this snow and I'm reminded how little I care about stuff like Christmas anymore and how fast that's happened over the last year. If it had snowed like this last year I would've thought it was pretty cool (geddit, cool, because of the... yeah that was shit) and probably gone outside to lob a snowball at some punk kid who should've been outside in such weather anyway. Now, meh. White Christmas? Meh. Dr Who Christmas Special? Meh. Decorations? Meh. All I think about now is how much of a mission it's gonna be buying the turkey and goose fat and all that this year. Oh yeah, Christmas lunch? Meh. As I ponder over how everythings gets less good as you get older, I ask myself how did I get so apathetic in the space of one year? Was it because I already had turkey during the year making it less special this yuletide time, was it cause I was actually affected by tube strikes and government policies for the first time? Was it because I realised TV these days is shite and everything I want to watch is available on the internet? OR was it because I signed up to TWO count'em TWO video game rental free trials for the specific purpose of getting Call of Duty: Black Ops and didn't get it from either of them bastards... yeah it was probably solely down to that.

Peace. Oh yeah and Merry Christmas (meh.)

Sporting Excellence #1 (El Clásico)

So it's Thursday, the match (Barca vs Real) happened on Monday, why the late post? A number of reasons, when I watch the matched and was gonna do the original post (a loving tribute to all things Barca) I was in East Croydon and by the time I got back to my house I couldn't be bothered anymore (I'm apathetic and my ambitions burn brightly for a brief period of time before dying forever, you should've noticed that by the length of time between blog posts). Then on Tuesday I downloaded the match and was gonna embed it on the blog but the maximum video limit is 100mb, so that didn't happen. Then on Wednesday I uploaded the match to Megavideo (that took a hell of a long time) and now we find ourselves here, on Thursday with the following links
Pre match build up: http://www.megavideo.com/?d=T5LBY5AZ
1st half: http://www.megavideo.com/?d=2IKCTFMX
2nd half: http://www.megavideo.com/?d=C76NEKCZ

I hope the ten of you guys who actually read this blog appreciate me slaving over a hot laptop to bring you this (seriously the fan on the laptop must be broken because it gets really hot, like melt the snow outside hot, like don't put it on your lap if you ever plan on having children hot). The quality is wack because Megavideo is wack, but that doesn't matter. What matters is the inspirational way Barca played, it was beautiful, it inspired me to apply to do volunteer work with impoverished kids in Spain... but that ambition burned briefly and then died forever when I got to the "Work history for the last five years" part of the application form (so many lies to check and cross-check with my CV). You may have noticed that last section was in italics, that's because it was sarcasm (remember me changing the world in the last post,) of course I wasn't going to volunteer in Spain. Why would I go to Spain to give up my valuble (and massively wasted) free time to not get paid to work when I can do that right here in the North Pole (sorry England, damn you snow, DAMN YOU!)? And why would I go work with impoverished children when I can never have any of my own (damn you laptop, DAMN YOU!)? Nah I'm kidding, but enjoy the match anyway and if you want to the download links for better quality holla. Peace.

Rant #1

You know what I hate apart from rappers who go "Yo you already know who it is/ yo its ya boy..." and then proceed with the video without actually saying their name as if I ACTUALLY know who dude is, the fact that I'm aware of Justin Bieber continued existence in this world and that look the person mopping the floor in Subway's shoots me as I walk directly over the part of floor where they're mopping (why mop the one and only path to the counter motherfucker, IT'S ONLY GONNA GET DIRTY AGAIN!). I hate being unnerved, being made to "arrgh!" in a startled and unbecoming manner, and you know what makes me do that? Do you think it's when I go onto YouTube click on so and so's video only to hear it's the clean version? No, that just pisses me off. I mean if Waka Flocka Flame didn't want me to hear "I GO HARD IN DA MUTHAFUCKIN PAINT NIGGA!" he wouldn't have written those fantastic lyrics  (italics mean sarcasm from now on...anytime you read it anywhere, I just changed the world). What unnerves me is when I press the so and so's video link only to hear "Hi YouTube it's Jerome and today I'm going to be reviewing so and so's video." forcing to desperately wade through the thousands of web pages I got up back to YouTube to shut that sonuvabitch up. Video reviews... of videos! Cheeeeezus what type of hopeless dickhead wastes his and my time doing that. If you work for NME fair play but when it's some random pleb in his bedroom it's clear some people need a slap. You don't get paid to do that do you "Jerome", do you get paid for anything "Jerome"? Oh you don't have a job, oh and you live in your elderly mother's basement, oh and your thirty bumbaclaart six years of age? You are truly a king amongst men "Jerome", you are an inspiration to us all. No really you are, don't worry about those mean people who tell you to go to the gym and do some deadlifts, you wouldn't wanna mess up that lower back tattoo you got would you MAN? I'm gonna wrap this up "Jerome" I don't like you, I don't like what you represent in humanity and us ever agreeing on anything isn't gonna happen. Like when you buy a rotisserie chicken from Sainsbury's eat the drumsticks and thighs, and then put the rest of it in the fridge like your actually gonna be able to eat that later? Who you kidding fam, cold chicken breast is dry, tasteless and no amount of chewing will allow you to swallow it safely, it actually draws in the saliva from your mouth without actually getting more moist itself (evil osmosis)... this has veered way of track hasn't it? Peace

Similar films...

It's happened again. Some hotshot (and probably Jewish) Hollywood scriptwriters were having lunch at some hotshot restaurant made nearly entirely of hotshot glass windows with a nice hotsh(ok I'll stop) view and one of them needed to go to the bathroom (Jews have small bladders to go with their big pockets, apparently pseudo anti-semitic remarks make your blog edgy... you're right I apologise) and the other one jacked his whole script and BAM! two films about the same thing are being made at the same time. This may (probably not) have been the case with Battle: LA and Skyline, both films about aliens invading and now people are getting sued. Sidenote: Why are the aliens so much more advanced than us when they invade? Why don't they like fly down, land in Hackney or something and get shanked. Script'll be like
[Special effects as alien lands in Plaistow and exits spaceship] Aliens looks around quizically. Two black teenagers walk up to alien
BLACK TEENAGER 1: "Oi fam, what endz you from?"
ALIEN:...
BLACK TEENAGER 1:"Oi blud don't you hear me talking to you?!"
ALIEN (obviously clueless about the latest "street" lingo):...
BLACK TEENAGER 2 (looking at alien spaceship): "Yoooo look at his whip fam, its sick fam man needs one of dem! Truuust me!"
BLACK TEENAGER 1: "Is that your whip yeah bruv?
ALIEN: "TAKE ME TO YOUR..."
Black teenagers proceed to shoot alien and hop in the spaceship. END SCENE
Now I know that scene is shitand has major plot holes, but what you have to realise is that those two black teenagers would be played by Bashy and Noel Clarke (because according to any British "urban" film released in the last 5 years if you got off any bus in London chances are they would be the first people you'd see) so that dodgy dialogue would be the least of the film's problems. Anyway now the two films in question are Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached, as you probably guessed they're  both about fuck buddies aka friends who decide to have sex without the emotions and all that jazz, here are the trailers: http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/11/mila-kunis-is-justin-timberlakes-slam-piece and http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/11/ashton-kutcher-bangs-natalie-portman-ludacris. Now we all know they'll fall in love the end so to save time let's try and decide which one you should stream when they're released. Starting with the leads, Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman vs Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. This is close, as much as I dislike the two guys I dislike Kutcher more, but as much as I think the two women are hot I think Portman edges it. So let's go to supporting characters. One has Ludacris playing a sarcastic friend and one has Woody Harrelson playing the wise old guy. Another draw. So in the end I guess gun to your head if you had to pick one, go for ...
Friends with Benefits. There's swearing so its automatically better, but if you don't have a gun to your head go watch The Hangover 2. Peace

MiPony - No rich lil Daddy's girl

First up. So let's say you're at home and you see that advert for that new blockbuster starring that famous guy and that hot woman with the trailer narrated by the same American guy as always (FROM THE MAKERS OF THE LAST FILM YOU PAID CLOSE TO £20 TO WATCH IN ODEON COMES...). You call up your ppls to organise a viewing and they're all like "Arrr I can't man I'm real busy with this Masters man, I gotta do some much work etcetera et-cet-er-ra" So you're like fuck that I'll download it, you hop over to rlslog, ya type in the film, you click on the link and BAM! Hundreds of multipart links of megaupload, rapishare,mediafire etcetera et-cet-er-ra. You click the first few and BAM! the files been deleted. Now you can sit there like a sucka and check em all, or you can download the point of this rather long and rambling post (allow me it's my first one) MiPony v 1.1.2 (http://www.mipony.net/). Long story short it takes takes care of all your downloads automatically and checks if they're still working. Example go to http://www.rlslog.net/a-nightmare-on-elm-street-2010-720p-bluray-x264-felony/#comments and see all them links. You highlight and copy the above link (not any of the the ones on the page) and this'll pop up and as you can see the freakshare (sounds like a swingers website) links (from the 41st post on the site) are the only working ones. The program's easy to use and as someone who been downloading films, magazines and other stuff off the web it's saved me a bunch of time. Yeah, so that's it, congrats if you read this whole post. Peace
p.s. there's probably lotsa spelling and gramma mistakes up in there, please send your corrections to likeigiveadamn@hotmail.com

Wagwan

Hello and welcome to the blog "On a good day Jimmy might have Bourbon." A line taken from a popular Wiley song you would never a heard of. So this blog is gonna be musings from the mind of Monney (Damn! I should have called it that). You see all of dem links I put up on the my FB page (I know you see em ma'fuckas, COMMENT! Ya know what, nah I don't care if you comment I ain't even trippin [wipes away the tears]) will now be on here. Having seen Chipmunk and Skepta in a video with Diddy and then seen my current employment status (Un-) I felt the urge to do suttin constructive with my life. Henceforth this blog to leave a legacy on cyberspace before my real world legacy (Kill Lady Gaga/Alan Creswell). Anyhow the posts are gonna be all over the shop, the shop being an urban one with a basement downstairs where all the really cool and weed/boredom-addled tings a gwan. Peace