Rant #1

You know what I hate apart from rappers who go "Yo you already know who it is/ yo its ya boy..." and then proceed with the video without actually saying their name as if I ACTUALLY know who dude is, the fact that I'm aware of Justin Bieber continued existence in this world and that look the person mopping the floor in Subway's shoots me as I walk directly over the part of floor where they're mopping (why mop the one and only path to the counter motherfucker, IT'S ONLY GONNA GET DIRTY AGAIN!). I hate being unnerved, being made to "arrgh!" in a startled and unbecoming manner, and you know what makes me do that? Do you think it's when I go onto YouTube click on so and so's video only to hear it's the clean version? No, that just pisses me off. I mean if Waka Flocka Flame didn't want me to hear "I GO HARD IN DA MUTHAFUCKIN PAINT NIGGA!" he wouldn't have written those fantastic lyrics  (italics mean sarcasm from now on...anytime you read it anywhere, I just changed the world). What unnerves me is when I press the so and so's video link only to hear "Hi YouTube it's Jerome and today I'm going to be reviewing so and so's video." forcing to desperately wade through the thousands of web pages I got up back to YouTube to shut that sonuvabitch up. Video reviews... of videos! Cheeeeezus what type of hopeless dickhead wastes his and my time doing that. If you work for NME fair play but when it's some random pleb in his bedroom it's clear some people need a slap. You don't get paid to do that do you "Jerome", do you get paid for anything "Jerome"? Oh you don't have a job, oh and you live in your elderly mother's basement, oh and your thirty bumbaclaart six years of age? You are truly a king amongst men "Jerome", you are an inspiration to us all. No really you are, don't worry about those mean people who tell you to go to the gym and do some deadlifts, you wouldn't wanna mess up that lower back tattoo you got would you MAN? I'm gonna wrap this up "Jerome" I don't like you, I don't like what you represent in humanity and us ever agreeing on anything isn't gonna happen. Like when you buy a rotisserie chicken from Sainsbury's eat the drumsticks and thighs, and then put the rest of it in the fridge like your actually gonna be able to eat that later? Who you kidding fam, cold chicken breast is dry, tasteless and no amount of chewing will allow you to swallow it safely, it actually draws in the saliva from your mouth without actually getting more moist itself (evil osmosis)... this has veered way of track hasn't it? Peace